Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Hmmm...  I just sat down and read my chapter for today from "Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self" by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  Interesting that today's reading focused on how we feel about ourselves - our looks.  How we perceive ourselves...

Earlier tonight, at my book group, we also talked a little bit about our looks (in a roundabout way).  We're reading the book "Fearless" by Max Lucado.  Mostly, we were talking about the fear of rejection - which for me has always been connected to a fear that I'm not pretty enough, skinny enough, blah blah blah...

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we torture ourselves with such silliness?  It's ridiculous. 

The funny thing is, more often than not, when I meet someone new or am checking out a crowd - I almost always find the attractive features to focus on.  I notice someone's beautiful smile, twinkling eyes, gorgeous hair, etc.  Why do I assume people see the worst in me, first?  Ridiculous.

Another unfounded fear that dates back to childhood...  and time to let it go. 

Yes, my preteen years.  I can remember an exact moment that destroyed any sense of confidence I had.  At confirmation camp, some girls were in my tent without me and I overheard their conversation.  One of them was holding up my swimsuit and told the others it was the size of a garbage bag (which it was not - talk about over exaggeration!)  Bu that moment set a course for my life... 

Ridiculous.  I am a child of God.  Beloved.  Precious.  And beautiful to behold.  Time to live as though I believe this, huh?

How about you?  Do you have these insecurities?  Why?  How do you deal with them?

Things I am thankful for today:

1.  A clean and organized office.  Woo-hoo!
2.  A good staff meeting - so fun to work with great people.
3.  An apple.  Tasted good.
4.  A stranger telling me I have a warm and friendly personality.  So nice!
5.  Chatting on Facebook with a former youth group kid about "LOST."  So fun.
6.  A wonderful response to a post on our church blog.  Beauitful prayers!
7.  A productive Mission Team meeting - with wonderful new team members!
8.  Book group tonight - great, as usual.  We're talking about our fears...  So interesting!
9.  Getting home in time to catch most of the premiere of "LOST."  Crazy as ever!
10.  The hubby and I finishing off the brownies.  Yum.

Psst...  This is my 401st post!!!!  Whoa!  That's just crazy....


Diane said...

The childhood comments that I still carry around with me are

1. An older boy in junior high school told me (while in the lunch line!) that my living bra must have died. For those of you not old enough to remember, "living bra" was an advertising tag line way back when. I wanted to disappear in to the floor!!

2. A relative used to always call me "Little Miss Hungry" (I was a chunky kid).

I don't really carry those feelings around with me anymore, but they did affect me for many many years. And I can call up those feelings to this day!

Mom said...

Oh Megan--I never heard that story about your swimming suit. Wish you would have shared your insecurities with me-- don't you know I would have always been there for you-- in many ways-I've always known you were a beautiful person inside and outside (I know--I'm your Mom!). Glad you can feel like you can let that "stuff" go--You should have watched Dr. Phil yesterday--it was about this very topic!!

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