Saturday, October 17, 2009

Complaints

"If you have not slept, or if you have slept, or if you have a headache, or sciatica, or leprosy, or thunder-stroke, I beseech you, by all angels, to hold your peace, and not pollute the morning."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Complaints we know. Complaints we're good at. Most of us have already mastered the art of the complaint in all its many variations... Some of us spend half our lives griping. It's time to get a grip... Besides, it's all been heard before. There's nothing new under the sun.

"I'm not suggesting that we suppress our negative feelings. But the petty stuff we're often foaming at the mouth about isn't worth the breath it steals. Our words are powerful, so powerful that they can change our reality - the quality of our days and nights. Moaning rarely makes either us or those around us feel better. In fact, it often makes everyone feel worse. Learning to shrug is the beginning of wisdom."
--Simple Abundance

I'm always intrigued when my daily readings fall in line with what has been on my mind! It's a Twilight Zone moment in some ways - and in some ways, reminds me that I was meant to be pondering that subject...

A friend of mine asked a question the other day - why don't I write about more of my daily challenges on my blog? It's nice to be thankful, but wouldn't people appreciate a look at the things I struggle with, too? A question that has had me thinking and pondering all weekend.... And here's what I came up with:
1) I used to whine and complain a lot. And I didn't like that about myself.
2) Most of my daily struggles involve work or family - both of which are inappropriate to write about in such a public way. I have no intentions of hurting those close to me or publicly talking about those things. I really only feel like I can talk about my own personal issues - not things that involve others too much.
3) I have a good life. On a day to day basis, I don't think I have much to complain about...

But if you want to know what I struggle with on those icky days that sneak up on me? Here they are:
* Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing?
* My weight.
* The issue of having - or not having - or adopting - kids.
* Dreams for the future - and wondering if I have what it takes to make them come true.
* Fear that I will one day have to deal with cancer - the real thing this time.
* Learning to speak up for myself, learning to speak my truth.
* Getting older... I know it's silly - but it sneaks up on you. White hairs, wrinkles, blech.
* Trying to be a better wife, friend, sister, daughter, etc.

These are all issues that I struggle with now and then - but daily? I just try to make it through the day, noticing the blessings in my life - and they outweigh the bad stuff by leaps and bounds! I've dealt with some pretty horrible things in my life - miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, pre-cervical cancer, losing multiple loved ones in one year, a breast lump, and many more things. Having a crappy day just doesn't measure up.

And so, as the quote above states, "our words are powerful, so powerful that they can change our reality - the quality of our days and nights." I write my blog about the things that are good in life because I truly believe it changes how I view my life - and I hope it can serve as a reminder to others to take notice of the little things as well... Those little, simple things make the hard things so much easier to deal with!

Thanks, Diane, for making me put it into words!

Things I am thankful for today:

1. Friends that make me think!
2. I've made it through a lot of icky things in my life - and am still able to see the good!
3. A day to drive down the river and visit some very cute towns. (Especially Stockholm, WI - very cute!)
4. Ate lunch at the Harborview in Pepin, WI - Best lasagna ever. Fresh and yummy!
5. Ice cream from the Nelson Creamery in Nelson, WI. Wow.
6. The Ditchlilies - an "americana" duo playing at the Creamery - a nice surprise!
7. Beautiful fall colors.
8. Holding my hubby's hand.
9. Pumpkin cupcakes. (Sustenance for the road...)
10. Going to bed really early!

4 comments:

Diane said...

Megan,

I appreciate the heartfelt and thoughtful response to my question about blogging about the challenges in life.

I agree that if publically acknowledging challenges in your life (or anyone's)infringe on someone else's privacy, then it is not appropriate. I agree that petty complaining isn't pretty or useful. And I think I mentioned in my original posting the possibility that maybe you haven't had a lot of doubt, fear, uncertainty, anger, etc. in your life to blog about. I think I've realized in the time I've known you that you are generally a
"cup half full" person and so I commend you for being up front about some of the challenges you have had in your life so far. I, too, prefer to focus on the blessings in life. I was just proposing the idea that talking ab out some of the very real and serious issues that may arise in your future might be worth blogging about as well. Acknowledging that bad things happen and that we have a right to feelings that some may consider "negative" (mad, sad, fearful, scared) doesn't mean that we will dwell forever in this negative state. Quite the contrary, I think that being open with ALL of our feelings, is the first necessary step to true wholeness.

It really is a tribute to you and your honesty that I proposed this to you. I think your readers (me included) trust your judgments, appreciate your thoughtfulness and would listen to an exploration of what being "humna" is all about...warts and all.

Keep on thinking and blogging, girl. You get us all thinking! Only an examined life is worth living.

Megs said...

Thanks for your kind words, Diane! I really do appreciate your input and questions! I guess you're right - maybe in the time we've known one another there hasn't been anything "big" to blog about... All I can think of is the cancer scare I went through last year - and I've written about that in several different ways...
I will continue to try to "keep it real" and you can continue challenging me! :)

Beth said...

When I first read Diane's comment I was like.."yay..write about the challenges" Then I thought..."gosh I don't think I would want to do that...very often" I think, Megan, that reading your blog and things you are thankful for give great insight to your challenges!

Thank you for your great blog...as I have stated before I go nuts when you aren't able to blog!

For what it is worth...come link up on Wednesday!!! And I am still nameless! lol

Andrea, the collector said...

Thank you for sharing why you blog the way you do. Blogging is such a public space sometimes it is easiest to show only our best sides. However, it sounds to me that you choose to share the best largely because it's what YOU want to recognize in your life, rather than that you are hiding or denying life's struggles. I honor your choice to acknowledge the positive and beautiful. Remembering and recording our blessings DOES change the way we see the world.

At the same time, part of the way we connect to one another is through sharing our suffering and/or struggles. I remember someone telling me, "behind every face is a problem". Knowing that I am not alone in the difficulties of living and learning helps me bear my own problems with greater grace and strength. Hearing other's stories and their uncertainties can bless me as much as their joys and delights, especially when there is an undercurrent of faith, seeking and honesty in how they face them.

Whatever parts of your life you choose to share here in the blogosphere, know there are people who are glad to hear your thoughts.

Blessings!

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