Depend on God

Julia Cameron's book, The Sound of Paper, encourages us "to be independent, by depending on God."  Funny, yesterday's reading in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People talked about moving from dependence, to Independence, to interdependence...  The only way to maturing.

What if the ultimate "maturity" test, was to depend on God?  Would we get there?  Really?

Here's what Julia Cameron says as an introduction to today's exercise:

"Sometimes we are loath to rely on the Great Creator.  Perhaps we still believe in a difficult, negative, or withholding God.  The kind of God we believe in  has a great deal to do with our willingness to draw close to God..."

Number 1-10 and list ten attributes of your childhood God:

1.  In the clouds.
2.  Judgmental.
3.  Powerful.
4.  Creative.
5.  Distant.
6.  Old.
7.  Punishing.
8.  Loving.
9.  Able to forgive.
10.  Male.

"Now, number from 1-10 again.  This time, list the characteristics you would like your God to have:

1.  Grace-filled.
2.  Forgiving.
3.  Guiding.
4.  Neither male nor female.
5.  Joy-filled.
6.  Creative.
7.  Encouraging.
8.  Near.
9.  Personal.
10.  On this adventure with me!

"Holding in mind the positive traits you have envisioned, write a letter to God asking for specific help regarding your life or creative projects..."

Love this idea!  She then says that you can put these letters in a "God Jar" or "God Inbox" (as Anne LaMott would say...).  I may be writing God a letter this afternoon...

It's interesting how life changes our views of God, isn't it?  Every year when my confirmands get ready to write their "faith statements," they tend to get all stressed out about "getting it right."  I always have to say Don't Worry About It.  The thing is, due to life's experiences and the things you learn along the way - your beliefs will change and grow with you. 

I think God intends for us to discover our faith in the ups and downs of life...  the twists and turns.  The "dazzle and delight" and the "darkness and drear."  I think God wants to tap us on the shoulder once in awhile and say, "I'm still here.  And I still love you."

Today is Maundy Thursday.  At church tonight, we will remember the night that Jesus was betrayed up until he was crucified on the cross...  Our sanctuary will be cleared of all decoration, black shrouds will be laid on the altar, and candles will be extinguished, until we are left in darkness and silence.

For me, this is one of those moments.  God is tapping on my shoulder.  Remember the story?  All of this darkness, this sadness, this hopelessness...  For now, sit with it and let it wash over you...  Reminding you of all the times in your life when you've felt this, too.  When there didn't seem to be a happy ending in sight....

And then, take a breath.

And remember.

Sunday is coming!

That's the God I believe in.


Things I am thankful for today:

1.  Spring is in the air.
2.  Moonroof OPEN!

3.  Maundy Thursday service.  One of my favorites.
4.  Silence.  So powerful.
5.  Setting up for the Good Friday Prayer Vigil.
6.  Candlelight.
7.  Coming home to a dinner waiting, thanks to the hubby!
8.  Playing with the poodle and her "bobo."
9.  An invite from Mom.
10.  Faith.

QotD:  What do you want to remember about today?
Dark, silence...